the thing that strikes me the most about this part of the world is how hard people are just trying to build good lives for themselves... and how the situation here holds many back...
it makes me sad and angry
and i'm trying to have a good time here.. but i have to admit that i am struggling at the moment
peace here would do so much good for everybody. but as it stands, the argument over land, power, pride, symbolism, history just $%@#!s it up for everybody instead.
israel could be and have so much more. and palestine could, well, exist (for starters) and build into its own country like israel did .. it'll likely be a humble one just like israel (my relatives here keep referring to this place as humble, and it is. and it's also beautiful -- to me at least)
earlier in the week, just before we arrived, palestinians launched rocket after rocket after rocket into southern israel. (can you imagine being in a border town in southern israel right now.. walking down your street and and suddenly a rocket is hurtling towards you or your kids?)
and today.. while we enjoyed a tasty brunch with friends in the eshtaol forrest west of jerusalem , israel, responded. with great force. (can you imagine being crammed into gaza right now????)
and this tit for tat is not just two incidents.. it goes back and back and back...
this place reminds me of when arel and dorian are NOT playing with each other... and are fighting like brothers do. one says one thing, then the other, then the other... and it escalates.
sitting on the outside it seems to easy to say "just one of you, drop it.. don't make your next move about escalation but about listening". but for the two caught in the moment it is impossible to try to understand the other person
i know a thing or two about fighting and understanding. dorian and i were walking on 24th street in san francisco a few weeks before we left and he asked me my favorite place on the shop-lined street. i didn't have to think long.. i told him it was the office of anette the couples counselor that kristin and i went to for years and years. where we learned to stop fighting and to listen to the other person... and to better express our own needs at the same time. when the two of us first started going to anette the fifty minutes we were with her were really the only fifty minutes during the week we would talk to each other (besides dealing with the most basic logistical matters). and over time we learned to understand each other, the different cultural backgrounds we come from, the different expectations and desires we have.. and the various annexations and fights for land and power that are there in a marriage too..
and we built a really nice life for ourselves.
but we are just two people.... we actually did have the power to shut out the extremist voices that told us we could not live in peace.. and to coopt the moderates and make them supporters by showing them that a nice life is possible. this is not to say we don't fight .. but we get over it.. and we have learned to de-escalate.
here it is just so complicated... no two people have power over these two peoples... and the tit for tat goes on and on and on and on.
